Episode 12: Segways and Jockstraps

Group date:

• We kick off with the HB cruising in on a Segway and these ladies honestly think it’s the funniest thing in the entire world. They must be really strapped for entertainment in that house 
• Anyway it’s a competition of course to win the bachelors love by riding a Segway. Go figure. They get to wear these matching yellow and blue tracksuits though and I do enjoy that 
• It’s all pretty straight forward until Brittany is chasing Brooke and comes off her segway skidding onto the ground! That gravel burn looks like it would hurt but also she was losing so maybe it was a strategic decision 
• It fails though and Brooke’s team wins and she wins some one on one time with the HB. This is not looked at favourably by the other girls though. Especially Shannon who feels real gipped. Oh but Brooke and the HB are so cute and have great banter, I just love them

Single date:

• Emily gets the date and they go for a ballet class where I’m fairly sure the male dancer has a couple of socks in his pants. The HB is given a jock strap looking contraption in nude which is super unattractive. Hope there are a few more socks backstage
• Emily is a dancer so has some good technique but the HB is surprisingly quite good as well
• They perform some duet and the lifts are actually very good with a little pazzaz from the HB. Emily has good pointing of her toes also
• However I think he has lost his mojo because there are so many awkward silences when they chat. Or maybe it’s just becuase it’s not Brooke 

Cocktail party:

• Emily comes back with no rose and Osher is here letting us know there is only one more single date of the season! 
• Shannon is pulled away first then all the rest of them before the single date is announced for Sophie. Yeah I don’t mind her actually. She has been a solid character these past eps
• However this makes Shannon start crying and huffing a lot at the camera 
• Oh my god an ad break and Ali is back! A man actually enters the house on a Segway to meet her. All her bachelors look like a bunch of losers. Another dresses as a knight in shining armour for goodness sake. I cannot even begin to express my disappointment for the franchise right now 

Rose ceremony:

• Shannon is freaking out that their connection is long forgotten and she might be going home. We get down to Shannon and Dasha from Russia and I think the Russia might have had her last sip of vodka in the mansion 
• Oh no it’s Dasha that gets the rose and it’s a tough day for everyone. They all take it really hard. The HB even walks shannon out to the car and calls her Shaz. Shaz tells him he should have given it another date 
• Meanwhile Dasha drops her rose and starts crying in a corner and then just drops to the floor. What is even happening right now!? I think Shaz is really drunk maybe. It’s the only explanation for this mess going on. Insider report she blew 1.15 on a breatherliser test on the car ride home. No just kidding but I can confirm she was flogged